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Ergo Sum

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If the attention that an issue is given on the evening newscast is an indication of its importance, it is clear that in Columbus, one thing (and maybe only one thing) matters. That issue dominates every newscast on every local channel. More than anything else, people in Columbus demand to know about the weather.

Channel 4 has First Doppler and the 4Warn Weather Team. Channel 6 has AccuWeather and The Three Degree Guarantee. Channel 10 has Doppler 10 Pinpoint Radar, the most powerful weather radar in town.

Though incessant advertising, each tells you that it has the most accurate forecast, keeping you abreast of the weather As It Happens. Tonight's leading story: the rain! After the lead-in, we'll have something about someone knocking over a quickie mart, and then we're back to Chris for an update on that developing weather situation. A cloud -- repeat, a cloud -- has been spotted! I wish I were making this up.

After watching a movie Monday night, Niki flipped through a couple of local channels. Columbus had neither rain nor sleet, nor snow that night. None of the above has been predicted through Wednesday night. Not to be deterred, our ever-vigilant meteorologist showed us some late-breaking weather news. Out came the satellite imagery of a developing weather situation. In Des Moines. Yes, in Iowa.

For the geographically impaired, I'd like to point out that Des Moines is three states away from Columbus.

I find it hard to believe that so little is happening in the sixteenth largest city in the United States that every local news broadcast should be dominated by the weather. What is so maddening about this is that it rarely matters whether it rains or shines. So few people around here walk anywhere except between the door to their car and the door to the nearest building that generally speaking, preparation of inclement weather is quite unnecessary.

How about a little attention to culture or life around town? How about some more coverage of the people who make the city what it is? How about interviews with local authors or proprietors of things unique and interesting? How about what we're thinking, saying, and doing? How about something about where we see ourselves going and how we plan to get there?

Think there's no time for any such coverage? Well just imagine if the national news were left to the national news broadcasts and locally we saved ourselves all of the time wasted on the bloody weather.

Tonight's forecast? Dark! So get a lamp and read a book. There isn't anything on TV but the weather, and you can watch that by going outside.

Created by cmcurtin
This article originally appeared on Sunshine Poultry.
Last modified 2004-09-24 05:39 PM
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