Who writes stuff that features idiotic and selfish husbands? Who do they expect to tune in every week? Humor generally has some basic truth, but these guys are just too moronic to be imagined.

For reasons that escape me, our television was on for a while Monday evening. Niki and I traded several hours of our lives for the opportunity to see Everybody Loves Raymond, Yes, Dear, Still Standing, another episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, and finally we killed the television five minutes into King of Queens.

Given the way that the husbands of these shows are portrayed, it's little wonder that so many women believe that men are inherently stupid.

These guys are incapable of saying anything intelligent. They have no idea what is happening in the world around them. They bumble through their lives, hurting people around them, and leaving their wives to pick up their messes. It is the wives who are uniquely endowed with the understanding of how best to raise children, to manage a household, and to appreciate arts like literature and opera. Were these women not omnipotent, the illiterate, television-sports-watching, Bud-Light-drinking brutes that pass for spouses would probably manage to destroy all life as we know it.

OK, so I'm exaggerating a little, but I have to know: to whom, exactly, are the producers marketing this tripe? Who wants to see guys this stupid and self-centered?

On Monday's Yes, Dear, Kim and Greg fight over how best to tell their young son Sam that his new goldfish died. Jimmy and Greg confer and they conclude that no matter what, they're wrong, so they're best off apologizing no matter what and going "straight for the make-up sex." On Still Standing, Lauren's thirteenth birthday will go without a party because her father Bill embarrasses her by telling a boy that he's the object of Lauren's affection. Bill and Judy take Lauren and some friends to a concert, and Bill manages to get himself into still more trouble, when he tells the boy that Lauren doesn't like him. Judy decides to sit atop Bill's shoulders and flash the band, getting herself displayed on the eighty-foot screen. Not to be outdone, King of Queens features Doug telling ridiculous lies to Carrie to get out of things like going to see La Boheme. Ultimately Doug says it's because he's afraid of Carrie.

I think I got dumber just recounting all of that.

Does anyone actually live the way they show this crap on TV?